Sunday, September 6, 2015

The Best Cars of the 20th Century.

The Best Cars of the 20th Century.

#10, the Ford Model ‘T’
                While this car would not even be street legal any more, it was heralded as the answer to the horse manure problem facing cities of the day.  At 600 dollars a copy it was easily available to most middle class people.  Given a straight road, an extra gas can and two spare tires it could travel 100 miles in 8 hours. 

#9, the Wiley Jeep
                Designed in just 120 days as a ¼ ton truck for the Army, this was the car that won World War 2.  It had unprecedented power for a vehicle its size and was extremely adaptable to everything but swimming.(they tried, it didn’t)  650,000 were built in 3 years, enough motorization to place every man in the army on the road at the same time. 

#8, the Volkswagen Beetle.
                Cheap, reliable, cramped.  The beetle was and is the worlds most popular car.  Designed in the 30’s, it is still produced, to this day with the original blueprints in Brazil.  All attempts to upgrade this car have failed in the market.  There is only one Beetle.        (Note, this was written in 2001, before the invention of the new Beetle.)

#7, the 57 Thunderbird.
                What a boat.  Beautiful, powerful, and sleeps 6 in a pinch. 

#6, the Delorien
                This car only had 4 problems, parts, narcs, parking too close to other cars, and its inability to exceed 88 mph without hitting yesterday.

#5, the Jenson Healy
                After the split from Austin, Healy took the complaints to heart on his previous creation and teamed up with car maker Jenson, to create the Jenson Healy.  As looks went, women who were just out shopping, suddenly had the urge to hitchhike when it rolled by.  Its aerodynamics were 20 years ahead of its time.  Its three liter engine treated the 140mph speedometer as a “suggestion” 

#4, the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow
                The name in pomposity.  The company that had no car repairmen on the staff because they were never required.  (True English chauffeurs being what they are).  It is the only car that gains value after it leaves the dealership.    

#3, 67 Ford Mustang
                There may have been better built cars, but none are better loved.  It had every thing, affordability, looks, upgradablility and cameo shots on most TV shows for the next 10 years.  Parts were available every where, from WWII surplus fighters to nuclear subs, if you removed a nut or bolt, it would fit somewhere on the Mustang.

#2, the 57 Corvette.
                Route 66, sky blue, there was no better convertible to tool around in.

#1, the Lamborghini Countach (loosely translated “Oh My God”)
                The acceleration limits on this car is limited only by the drivers ability to move the shift lever.  It is rumored that the Star Trek warp speed visual effects were a retouched video of a Countach hitting 2nd gear while being used to accelerate particles at Fermi lab.  With the hot tub option, this car can be a single seater.  At 4mpg, it makes the ideal commuter car for oil company executives.  Due to the handcrafted nature of the vehicle, no Countach has ever been stolen, as its parts are not even compatible with other Lamborghini’s.  It’s unique styling also makes it subject to frequent police stops for speeding, even while garaged.

Honorable Mention.
The Trabant.
                The Trabant borrowed ideas from all the greats.   It had longer waiting lists than the Lamborghini. It faded to sky blue after a few months.  It had parts salvaged from burned out tanks.  The company had no car repairmen on the payroll.  Women would try to hitchhike rather than ride in one.  It had a problem reaching 88 kph. Otherwise, it emitted more smoke than a T bird on fire, it was cramped like a beetle, sank like a jeep, and could not get 100 miles on a tank of gas. But the “Trabbie” made East Germany what it is today, an impoverished suburb of West Germany.  It is the Car that won the Cold War.

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